How to stay safe from romance scams

Technology has completely changed how we connect with people – and that includes how romantic relationships start. These days, online dating is a normal part of life, and it’s not unusual for a relationship to begin before the couple has even met in person.

This shift is one that fraudsters have taken advantage of in recent times, resulting in an increasing trend of romance scams.

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam happens when someone builds a relationship with you online – often through a dating app, social media, email, online game or even professional networking site. The person may come across as genuine, kind, and deeply interested in you. But their goal is simple. They are taking the time to gain your trust and will then take advantage of it for their own financial gain.

Between January 2020 and December 2024, nearly 40,000 romance scams were reported in the UK, resulting in over £409 million in losses.¹

By understanding how these scams work, you can make sure you’re protecting yourself and those you care about.

Step 1 – The approach: A charming stranger, solider, or even celebrity reaches out to you online. They have a polished profile and convincing background.

Step 2 – The hook: They build a relationship with you over time, gaining your trust. Then one day they urgently need money to cover the cost of some kind of emergency. A medical bill, travel cost, or possibly business trouble.

Step 3 – The sting: This is where they ask you for help. They ask you to transfer the money via bank transfer, gift cards, or cryptocurrency, promising to repay you. But once you pay, they vanish, or in some cases, ask for more.

Typical excuses they might use, include:

• • “I’m stranded abroad and urgently need help to get home.”
  • “I’m facing a medical emergency and can’t afford treatment.”
  • “I’ve discovered a unique investment opportunity, and you’d be the perfect partner to share it with.”
  • “I work overseas or on an oil rig and I haven’t got access to banking facilities. I need help for travel or a short-term loan.”
  • “I sent you a gift, but it’s stuck in customs.”

Once money is involved, it’s time to press pause and take a step back.

Spot the warning signs

Scammers are often skilled manipulators, but these red flags can help you identify them:

• Urgent financial requests. They may ask for money to help them in an emergency, to pay for travel or to fund a last-minute opportunity.
• Untraceable payment methods. Be cautious if they ask for money via cryptocurrency wallets, prepaid cards, gift cards or accounts that can’t easily be checked.
• Avoiding in-person meetings and video calls. They may come up with excuses to keep the relationship online only, avoiding any face-to-face interaction.
• Repeating requests for money. Even asking for small amounts or gift cards. It’s important to remember that a romance scammer is unlikely to stop at asking once, and you may be convinced to make multiple, possibly smaller, payments over a longer period.
• Requests for secrecy: “Don’t tell anyone about us.”
• Stories that sound just too perfect or too tragic.

7 ways to stay safe from romance scams:

Keeping safe online doesn’t always mean having to be distrustful – it’s about being smart. Here are seven useful tips to keep you safe from romance scams:

1. Never send money to someone you haven’t met – No matter how convincing their story is.
2. Pause before you pay – Urgency is often a big red flag.
3. Check their story – Search for their name and photos online.
4. Talk to someone you trust – A friend, family member, or your private banker can provide a useful sensibility check.
5. Avoid unusual payment methods – Bank transfers, gift cards, or crypto are warning signs.
6. Protect your details – Never share you banking details or identity documents online.
7. Report any concerns immediately – Contact your private banker or the client services team if you’re ever unsure.

Romance scams can devastate your finances. As a client of a private bank, your wealth makes you a clear target for fraudsters who are skilled at exploiting trust and emotion. Stay vigilant. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Make sure you verify every story is true and lean on your private banker for guidance. In reality, true love doesn’t ever come with a price tag.

What to do if you suspect fraud:

Fraudsters often use urgency and false trust to carry out their plans, especially when it comes to romance scams. By staying informed and making smart decisions, you can reduce the risk significantly.

As a valued client, we are committed to working with you to safeguard your financial future. If you ever feel uncertain, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your private banker or our client services centre who can freeze your account and stop any further unauthorised transactions.

Nedbank Private Wealth clients can contact us at +44 (0)1624 645000 (Monday to Friday, 7am to 6pm UK time, except for UK public holidays) or +44 (0)20 8167 3223 outside these hours.

For more tips and advice, visit our Protect Yourself from Fraud page.

¹actionfraud.org.uk