Undivorce: The growing trend in modern relationships

December 4th, 2024.

Divorce, once considered a definitive end to marriage, has been common for a long time, with one third of marriages ending in divorce over the past 50 years1. Yet, a growing number of couples are rewriting this narrative, embracing what some are calling ‘undivorce’ – the act of calling off a divorce or remarrying a former spouse.

Major life events | Money management
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Client Summary

Client Summary

It is becoming more common for separated couples to remain legally married and financially connected rather than filing official divorce proceedings, with many trying to reconcile. These are some of the key reasons for this trend:

  • People are looking to avoid the long-term financial implications of divorce
  • Couples do not want to cause instability within the family dynamics
  • Couples can avoid paying the expensive legal fees involved in divorce
  • Couples with complex finances can face lengthy legal processes
  • Staying in a marriage can provide more financial stability
  • Open communication can help to protect finances
  • Professional advice can help to find amicable solutions to preserve family wealth

This trend has gained traction in recent years, particularly with a number of high-profile couples choosing to reconcile, proving that a second chance when it comes to marriage is not only possible but increasingly prevalent.

In today’s world, relationships face many challenges, from the pressures of work and family life to financial strain and the desire for personal growth, leaving many to consider divorce their best option. However, the rise of undivorce suggests a broader cultural shift, with couples recognising that parting ways isn’t always the end of their story.

High-profile examples, such as professional golfer Rory McIlroy, have brought this trend to the fore. In 2024, McIlroy famously filed for divorce from his wife, Erica Stoll, before the papers were voluntarily dismissed, with the couple deciding that their ‘best future is together’. Their story highlights the complexities of relationships and the benefits of finding a shared way forward.

Financial considerations

Divorce is notoriously expensive. Legal fees, the division of assets, and the potential loss of a shared standard of living often weigh heavily on couples. For those with substantial wealth or complex financial arrangements, such as business interests or property portfolios, the stakes are even higher. For some relationships, reconciling can sometimes be more practical than dismantling a shared financial empire.

Beyond the financial costs, maintaining separate households and the potential strain on children’s well-being are other factors that can prompt couples to pause and reconsider. For those considering these decisions, consulting legal and financial advice can provide clarity and guidance, ensuring informed choices are made.

Emotional connections

Children, in particular, are often central to a couple’s decision to remain together. While divorce may initially seem like the right path, time apart can sometimes highlight the value of staying together. Some couples realise their differences were not as insurmountable as they seemed, or they may come to appreciate each other more after a period of reflection.

Reconciliation also offers the opportunity to address past issues with a fresh perspective. With open communication couples can sometimes create a more resilient relationship.

Planning for the future

Undivorce is not without its challenges. Rebuilding a relationship requires honesty, mutual respect, and a clear vision for the future. For many, the decision is as much about practical considerations as it is about emotional ones.

Whether driven by love, shared goals, or financial stability, choosing to reconcile is an opportunity to rewrite your story together. While there is no simple answer for couples considering the future of their marriage, having a solid plan in place, both financially and emotionally, can make the journey less daunting.

For more information, please speak to your Wealth Adviser, or learn more about how we can help you navigate this complex stage of your life here.

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What this means for you as a Nedbank Private Wealth client

Going through a divorce can be emotionally and financially draining, and more couples are reassessing whether to go through with divorce or look at alternative solutions. For high-net-worth individuals managing shared assets or family wealth, long-term financial stability is a key priority and seeking professional guidance can help to make informed decisions to protect family finances, property and assets, and avoid conflict or family disruption.